Stylish Spaces

We have become a global community on taking offense over anything and everything. We not only take offense on a daily basis over trivial matters - we are actually always on the lookout to jump at an opportunity to get offended. And social media makes it all so easy to be offended from a (very) safe distance. What someone was wearing - and it does not matter if that someone is a person you are never likely to ever meet. What someone said - and it doesn’t matter if that someone had a legitimate reason or series of events leading up to that comment. What someone supported or did not support - and it does not matter if that someone  had cultural or religious or political views that necessitated that view. Anything or anyone that slightly deviates from our sensibilities is fair target. In our warped little world, they deserve our condemnation, ridicule, wrath and backlash. Every time I read a scathing comment on Facebook or Instagram, I can’t help but ponder - why do we do this?...

Whether you are steeped in religious beliefs from childhood unquestionably accepting your existence or an atheist looking for logical, scientific proofs of evolution that explains your presence in this world, you can not get away from the fact that each one of us is a miracle of existence. Anatomically modern humans have roamed the earth for nearly 200,000 years, yet the workings of a human body are still a mystery. Admittedly, we know a lot but there is still a lot we haven't figured out. We know that our very existence is a delicate balancing act of countless biological processes, thousands of chemical interactions and multiplex of electro-magnetic forces working every single nano second of our existence without rest.  Scientists know that in addition to chemical aspects like water and oxygen, space or nothingness is one of our bodies major constituent. Our bodily atoms encompass 99.9 percent of space within which electromagnetic fields are generated by whirling electr...

Even the most joyful, benevolent souls out there have encountered some degree of sadness in one way or another in their lives. Sadness takes many forms but at its deepest and heaviest it renders us speechless and wrecks havoc on our vision of ourselves and our place in the world. Just like rose-tinted glasses present us with perhaps, delusional but soul satisfying, glowing view of the world where flourishing relationships abound, similarly sadness bestows on us a gravitas and a stillness of soul, where the world is perpetuated by dark clouds and relationships are draining and doomed. Nothing seems right, within us and out there.  And at these times when we are our most vulnerable, it really helps to remember that both happiness and sadness are a state of mind. The connection between how we feel and act on any particular day or occasion has a lot to do with what we think and draw conclusions from. And it is all data driven. The data in our brain and the neural synapses it gene...

 This year I turn fifty in October. Sixteenth October to be precise. Needless to say getting to half a century is a big milestone in anyone's life. Most approach it with a mix of trepidation and doom. Trepidation of the things to come or lack of and doom of declining physical and mental faculties. The sage of the world approach fifty as a powerhouse of wisdom and a license to wag their fingers and shake their heads at numerically lesser aged mortals pointing out the folly of their ways. And then they are those who go into panic mode; the famously atoned ‘midlife crisis’. They throw their family life and everything they have slowly and steadily built to the wind and abandon themselves to revisiting the follies of youth.  Being a classic sun sign Libra, I weighed the pros and cons of letting myself feel one way or another as I foray gradually towards my fiftieth birthday. After all I have the time-luxury of ten months and fifteen days to make that decision and I want to ge...

My youngest turns sixteen today.  Old enough to fill my heart with a slight pang that the day is fast approaching when she too will be looking at University brochures ready to fly the nest like her older siblings and I will have to deal with an empty nest syndrome, but still young enough to enjoy her delightful company; because a delight she definitely is. And I am not saying this with a mother’s bias because I have never been an overly gushy kinda mom. As much as I adore my children, I view them objectively as individuals; ie beautifully written but still having typos in their character-script! And what delights me about my youngest is her genuine warmth which she exudes wherever she goes. She is the kind of person who in a room full of strangers will come out bearing many friends. She is instinctively sensitive to the needs and wants of others and shows care in little unexpected ways that touches your heart. She is the one who leaves handwritten notes and bunch of flow...

There comes times in every women’s life; through charmed providence or cruel necessity; when she feels inclined either to start a new story in her life or end an existing one. This beginning and ending of stories,  however holds very little significance for men, because their entire lives, more or less, are played out in the same story with changing chapters causing ripples in their otherwise calm sea of existence. Most men set their course of life early on for their entire journey and even if they suffer tiny upheavals, it's nothing that cannot be addressed or ironed out in the next couple of chapters unfolding in their life stories. But why so many stories in a women's life? Because the emotional demands made on her are deeper and she herself changes with every major or minor change in her life. Every time she is in a relationship or gets married, or gives birth or gets divorced or cares for her aging parents, she switches into a new role and has to cultivate new sensib...

Whether you are steeped in religious beliefs from childhood unquestionably accepting your existence or an atheist looking for logical, scientific proofs of evolution that explains your presence in this world, you can not get away from the fact that each one of us is a miracle of existence. Anatomically modern humans have roamed the earth for nearly 200,000 years, yet the workings of a human body are still a mystery. Admittedly, we know a lot but there is still a lot we haven't figured out. We know that our very existence is a delicate balancing act of countless biological processes, thousands of chemical interactions and multiplex of magnetic forces working every single nano second of our existence without rest.  Scientists now know that in addition to chemical aspects like water and oxygen, space or nothingness is one of our bodies major constituent. Our bodily atoms encompass 99.9 percent of space within which magnetic fields are generated by whirling electrons around ...

Sometimes I think talk is so overrated. Talk is the key to all chaos we see in the world around us. The religious and political divides; the socialists and the communists; the left wings and the right wings; the anarchists and the pacifists; all spew ‘talks’ to discredit and belittle others and make themselves believe in their petty causes, which to be honest are not that inherently different in that they serve them and no one else. Wouldn't the world be a peaceful place if we could silence the constant spew of talk and instead listened or read. Listened to ourselves for starters. Listened keenly to little voices of reason and intuition and conscience we are all born with but that we learn to so affectively drown as we grow older and join self-serving causes; in hopes of worldly redemption from people like us - which we don't need to begin with. The only redemption we need is from the higher power that created us with a clear purpose or in our own eyes.  I am not a big be...

If anything can give us solace in times of grief or any hardship, its these words ' and   this too shall pass' . For these words give us hope and a glimpse of a time beyond now; when all this we are going through right now will not be anymore. These words are the balm that ease the sting of now and thicken our resolve to get through now as little scathed as possible. And what about when times are good and happy and exciting? These very words heighten our senses and make us appreciate and experience now with abandon, so when now and all its happy tidings do pass, we have sweet memories strongly imprinted in our mind, heart and soul! That's the beauty of time, it keeps on moving.

I may be wrong, but I have a feeling that despite lofty advertising laced with celebrity endorsments, luxury brands and brands loyalty is on a rapid decline around the  world - and the reasons are simple and make a lot of logical sense. They are too accessible and have lost their niche. Most are 'meh' and fail to inspire us to objects of desire we can aspire to. Gone are the days when flagship brand stores were limited to exclusive addresses in a select few cities around the world. People had to plan exclusive trips to those cities, book an appointment at the store and be treated like royalty to shop for a coveted handbag or wrap. Nowadays go to any decent sized city anywhere around the world and lo and behold, there staring you in the face is a famous fashion retail brand with foot traffic rivaling the theme parks. Corporate greed and globality has diminished the exclusivity of brands to the extent that there is nothing covetable about them anymore. Hence more and more peop...

I lost my mother a little over a year ago to a multitude of escalating health issues in a relatively short span of time at the age of 76. In the last few months of her life, she displayed all the classic signs of mental withdrawal and rapid physical decline; gently preparing us, her children, for her departure. But despite best prep, you can never fathom what it would be like to live without your mom. And sadly now I do - and this worries me no end for my own kids. It's not the grief of losing a parent I am worried about. Even though I miss my mother terribly, I do understand it was her time to go, she was ready to as well. Barely able to, she whispered  'let me go' to my sister who was attending to her the day before she died. No, death and the cascading grief that follows does not worry me as much as the loss of the voice of reason.  Because that's what I lost with my mothers demise. The voice of reason and sanity in my life. The bandaid to all my scrapes a...

Blue has always been my all time favourite colour.  My wardrobe for the most part (two-thirds) is blue. Blue jeans and a navy jumper is my staple wear most days. But somehow when it comes to home furnishings, I have always shied away from blue - simply because for maximum impact blue colour requires total commitment. Moreover it  takes you down a decorating path where your complementing and contrasting colour choices become a tad restrictive -and for a non-commitment decorator like me, that is, someone who periodically likes to move things around a bit in the house for a fresher look (not to mention on the cheap!) - being committed to blue colour scheme just never made much financial sense. Also, fairly frequent house moves and and living in rented houses meant I had to stick with colours that I could  throw together with ease. So I stayed away from blue.  But that does not mean I don't like blue colour schemes. On the contrary, I think blue colour makes one of ...

My son turns 21 tomorrow. He is my first born and as first borns do, I learnt far more about myself from having and raising him than I imagine he ever did from me. Every milestone with him was more exciting, exhilarating and sometimes nerve-racking because it was my first as well. First tooth, first hospital visits, first spoken word, first baby steps, first long-haul air travel, first nursery, first school play, first playdate, first parent's evening, first SATs, first GCSEs, and the list goes on and on.  Being a first born also meant I made all my never-to-be-repeated classic parenting mistakes on him. In that he certainly got a raw deal. It also meant I burdened him at times with being more responsible, or setting an example for his younger sisters where he could have certainly done with being more carefree. I have unashamedly over the years relied on him to validate myself as a mom, but both of us have fooled each other not one bit. I am his mom or 'mumma' as he ca...

I really can't speak for anyone else here, but in my moments of solace, every introspection or retrospection I have given myself the luxury to indulge in regarding what I have deemed my many 'failures'  in life have all led me to one very uncomfortable realization - that most often than not I was the one standing in the way of my success and happiness. Yep! No one else. For all my subconscious strategies of blaming x, y or z for my unhappiness; all the while it was me sabotaging my own success and holding me back from reaching my full potential. We really are more in control of our destiny than we think. But... herein lies the very problem - control -  and our desire to have too much of it. We are so conditioned to take control, act now, grip things by the horn, be in the forefront and try our hardest to make a success out of every situation - that sometimes we forget to relinquish it; which we absolutely must do if w...

      “ You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”   Roman Payne   Click here to buy on Amazon L ife is full of endless possibilities. Growing up I truly believed I had at my disposal endless possibilities, paths yet to be trodden, routes yet to be mapped - the world was my playground, living was an exciting prospect, every day unfolded new and newer avenues to skip down soaking up the delights on the way. I loved learning and books which were opening up my mind and increasing my wonder at all the things out there to choose, experience and savour. And then I grew up and experienced ‘real’ life. A life strapped down by responsibilities, duties and commitments. I was a wife, a mother, a home-maker. The world wasn't my playground anymore, more a to-do errand list that I mentally ticked off every day. Experiences, good, bad and ugly, just rolled on me rather...

Whatever does not pretend at all has style enough. Booth Tarkington;                                             ‘The Magnificent Ambersons’ FREE DOWNLOAD FOR A LIMITED PERIOD ONLY: COUNTLESS CUPS OF CHAI Most people as it turns out, approach style from a very visual perspective – and who can blame them, it has to be seen to be appreciated. But it is much more and deeper than that. Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by a gloriously beautiful sunset or an elegantly dressed person oozing effortless charm? Both spark your wonder and instantly lift your worries and troubles, if only for a brief moment. Now that is style - an innate pull, a silent nod of acknowledgement that makes you pause in the midst of whatever you are doing or thinking. It’s a connectio...

                                    Click here to view on AMAZON Both home design and living judiciously follow many of the same notions and principles – as I learnt over the years trying to create a comfortable home and living a good life as we jetted across the globe over two continents, three countries and six cities following my husband’s career. Every move saw us in a new house which we were obliged to call home for the next two to three years. Every move also meant new encounters, new acquaintances and a few adjustments.   As a mother of three, I keenly felt it was up to me to soften the blow of ‘yet-another-move’, another new city, new schools and new friends by making our house as comfortable and pleasing to be in as possible. Perhaps I needed the reassurance, more so for myself than my chil...

The man who does not value himself; can not value anything or anyone. Ayn Rand As good parents we are expected to keep correcting the moral compass of our children till it conforms to societal needs – and that includes telling them to be less selfish and more selfless in their actions and speech. Schools promote and teach that in abundance as well – by advertising and putting on great shows for a great cause - all the bake sales are the gold standard for that. But what in reality are we teaching our children? A forced sense of conformity, how they need to act, behave and think in a certain way to be accepted and valued by others? No wonder so many of our children end up having emotional problems. I have worked in schools and the emotional problems are alarmingly starting earlier and earlier each year – but is that at all surprising? We have lost the art of nurturing the individual. We hardly give children any chance to find anything out for themselves or discover who the...