Endless Possibilities

Life presents one with endless possibilities.

Growing up I truly believed I had at my disposal endless possibilities, paths yet to be trodden, routes yet to be mapped - the world was my playground, living was an exciting prospect, every day unfolded new and newer avenues to skip down soaking up the delights on the way. I loved learning and school and books which were opening up my mind and increasing my wonder at all the things out there to choose, experience and savour.

And then I grew up and experienced 'real' life.

A life strapped down by responsibilities, duties and commitments. I was a wife, a  mother, a home-maker. The world wasn't my playground anymore, more a to-do errand list that I mentally ticked off every day. Experiences, good, bad and ugly, just rolled on me rather than me choosing to experience something. All exciting possibilities grew distant and distant, even books read failed to ignite wonder and passion for things unknown as I knew them to be mere words not possibilities. I drew little comfort from the fact that duties and responsibilities are marks of a person raised well - a sense of commitment to their jobs, regard for their elderly, fidelity to their partners, obligations towards their kids, loyalty to their friends -  all of these govern our daily existence and make us who we are.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depends on how you choose to look at it.

There are no "endless possibilities" in life. We are all like balloons, tethered to a string, some short, some long, all up in the sky together, blowing gently this way and that, but tethered nevertheless.  Those that break free and soar up are free-spirited ones, faced perhaps, with endless-possibilities, the rest of us, will stay tethered till the end of our time.

Striking a balance

If any concept screams blissful ambiguity and has ceaseless shift in boundaries, than it would be this one - striking a balance. In how we choose to live our lives to how we choose to decorate our homes, and how we choose to conduct our relationships - in public and private,  with people, shopping, food, gym - striking the right balance is always a thought never far away from our minds - yet sometimes just as ignored as we give in to pressures of existence in our social spheres.

I had heard people talk about changed perceptions when faced with a terminal illness and I had always wondered what would it take to have the right balance to begin with, where possibility of looming death would not be a reminder of how you need to adjust your life and priorities. Lets just say, I had been on a soul-searching quest for a while on how to have some "measurable" for a balanced and well adjusted life, relationships and homes. And being a Libra sign, I really was looking to find an answer and soon!

And the breakthrough came last week, during my work orientation (who knew those could be actually useful!) when I heard this talk from a lady, an educationalist with an impressive track record, who had spent the last thirty years of her life as a Special Needs teacher doing "what made her heart sing" in the  classroom, not caring two hoots for the education authorities and the specialists who were always telling her she was going about it all wrong. That she was setting unrealistic expectations of herself and the children she was working with was a thought that had crossed her mind once or twice before being totally blown away by yet another unachievable milestone annihilated by one or another of her disadvantaged students. And that was my "aha" moment - I had finally found my strike-a-balace-measure - I will decorate my home, conduct my relationships with people, food, gym and shopping on  "what makes my heart sing!!"

Let me explain - using "what makes my heart sing" logic, I would know where to draw the line in home decor, because a Rembrandt that "doesn't make my heart sing" will be forgone in favour of an unknown artist on my home walls. But of-course if its the Rembrandt that makes my heart sing, and I can afford one, then I will purchase it guiltlessly - because the worth of the painting is in the value it adds to my life not its price tag. I will also make a conscious effort to keep up with friends and family that make my heart sing. Even if what we have to share is tears and pain, they would still make my heart lighter and my days brighter - because that is the power of good friends and close family ties. I will wake everyday to "what makes my heart sing" and shamelessly and guiltlessly pursue my hearts desire - because my heart will know what I need to do, where I need to be to be happy and content -  unlike my mind that leads me astray with what I want to do, where I want to be. Wants are dispensable and irk your conscience when faced with impeding death, needs are not. Need I say more!

Living On

Life may be short, moments encountered may be transient and time may be ticking away faster than we know, but in many ways it doesn't matter - we all live on longer than our physical existence - some more than others - and here's how.

We live on in the memories of those we shared good times with and those who are grateful to us for standing by them in bad times. We live on in quirky little gestures, habits and phrases unwittingly picked up by our children who have watched us, heard us and copied us since they were wee toddlers and in the genetic cocktail we have passed on to them, weak or strong. We live on in the good turns we did others that perhaps changed their lives in some little or big way. We live on in tiny little good deeds that snowball and flourish and breed more and more prosperity for those who need it. We live on in words we write down that touch a chord with someone reading ages after we are no more.

If you think about it, there are so many ways to live on. Everyone single one of us can have a legacy to pass on, all it matters is how we choose to live our life here and now.