TO BE ALIVE...

Every one of us is living till death comes calling on us, but have you ever wondered what it means to 'live'  - for  there is a marked difference between 'living' and 'being alive'. Every one of us lives, we go about our life, raising kids, managing our homes, going to our daily jobs, going to restaurants on weekends, getting groceries, yes - we all do that, but are we truly alive? Do we not go about life doing the mundane, the expected, following the millions before us, going through the motions of life - sleeping, eating, breathing without feeling alive. I myself , like millions of others go through the motions of living everyday, and  I don't know about you,  but I certainly want to feel alive at least part of the day everyday.

Being alive is to ignite a passion for something so greater than yourself  that you feel  energised just thinking about it - every fibre in your being is consumed by it. Some are lucky to find this in the jobs they do- some find that feeling in spirituality, some in compassion, some in nature, and some in love -  and some, alas,  never know what it is to be alive. They live without being alive and never know the difference.

Rumi in his wisdom once said 'you are born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?  So, be alive, find your wings, you passion to soar high - and if you don't know where your passions lie, than go on a quest to find it- find it in friendships, in love, in books, in nature, inside your hearts - for people who know how to be alive, do not fear death- because they know death only ends their life, but their passion somehow finds another way to live on.

DESIGN YOUR DESTINY

When growing up, people often ask you where your interests lie and what do you want to be when you are older - the bizarre thing is no one asks the most important, fundamental question- what kind of person you aspire to be - after all that's what defines us ultimately, not our jobs, our careers, our salary package, no, none of that - but the person we grow up into.

 I never always knew what I wanted to do in my life - but I always knew the kind of person I wanted to be - and that for me was a person with grace, integrity, riding the storm of life with a calm exterior - a person who believes and strives for balance, harmony and all things beautiful. It's been a journey getting to be that person, and I can honestly admit I am not there yet, but it's getting easier as I grow older - because like any other career  goalposts that require work and commitment, getting to be the person you aspire to be requires commitment and dedication as well. All the great people in this world were not born great, they aspired greatness and diligently worked towards it. Nothing is handed out for free here, believe me!

You might disagree here with me and think - But I can name plenty of people who have it easy! They are born rich, can afford to be philanthropic and achieve greatness that way- but don't forget,  that doesn't necessarily make them great, who they are as people has nothing to do what what they have or can afford to dish out to others.

Although life does look and feel like a series of chances, sometimes you even feel helpless in the face of all it throws at you (and I have had those moments too), there is really at all times, even in the worst, most painful situations, some elements in your power - sometimes it's just as simple as how you perceive the situation, because when all else fails that's the one thing that you can whip out  -like a secret weapon to make your life easier, better for yourself.  You really are in control of your own destiny, your choices define who you are, your actions take you where you want to be.

I found this on the web today,  everyone should read this once in a while to remind themselves of who they want to become. So design your own destiny, the way you want, it's possible but only if you choose to...

I choose to live my life by choice, not chance;
To make changes, not excuses;
To be motivated, not manipulated;
To be useful, not used;
To excel, not compete;
I choose self esteem, not self pity;
I choose to listen to my inner voice, not random opinion of others.
Anon

On Being "Just a Teacher"

At social gatherings I get asked a lot what I do and when I tell them I teach, the casual response sometimes is 'so just a teacher" which puts an instant freeze on the smalltalk because I can only blink  and stare back at them all the while thinking - now do they actually want me to say something in response to that - but more importantly, do I want to respond to that ignorant opinion of an even ignorant, bigoted person?

Teaching skills of academia to secondary students (teenagers) is one of the hardest but also the most rewarding jobs you can do  - and I think most parents of teenage children will agree with me here when I say - at this age, you get the best of them and the worst of them. So I can honestly say, you end up not just teaching them, but listening to their tales of woe from home, smoothing over their ruffled feathers when they have an emotional tiff with a peer and rejoicing in their little triumphs. They can make your day so much interesting by their lively, carefree banter and so much harder when they are sullen and unapproachable. They are polite and  lovely one day and drive you up the wall the next.

But that is just one part of being a teacher,  what I have said above is never even mentioned in any teaching job description. The real job-spec involves grappling with new and newer  technology, making engaging lessons, involving every single student in the learning journey, marking, monitoring and reporting progress, while all the time learning, learning and learning more - yes that's the one job where learning never stops - and to top it all you have to prove you are good at what you do to inspectors, people coming in to observe you and pass judgment on you without blinking an eyelid. So why do I teach?   Because its a job like no other - everything pales in comparison when you see the difference you are making in a pupils intellect - when they get it, their faces light up and when they discover something on their own, their excitement knows no bounds - and it is so very rewarding to be an instigator of that enlightenment.

And that's not all, most teachers I know have a huge skill set from their previous jobs- I myself was never always a teacher - and they bring that skill set to their teaching everyday enriching students life even further.  But most people don't see that - to them you are just a teacher. So when someone asks me what I do, maybe I should shrug my shoulders and say 'you know, just a teacher' and see what they have to say...

Puzzling Over Presents

My son is turning 18 end of this month and aside from planning a party, I have been trying to find a meaningful present to give him to mark the milestone - and boy has it been hard (excuse the pun!) - I literally scoured hundreds of websites trying to find something - and my criteria from what I thought was pretty straightforward was -  I wanted to get him something that
a) an 18 year old would really appreciate,
b) is not gadgety (so as not be obsolete in the next five years with the way technology is advancing) and
 c) something that he can keep forever

 He will be off to university in October and technically this is his last birthday at home with us, god knows next year he'll be meeting us at a restaurant somewhere! So 18th birthday is pretty special, it marks a foray into adulthood and independence (also legally) and parents do want to give something special on an18th birthday -   But take my word for it, there is nothing out there - yes, there is the boring stuff-  silver cuff-links, engraved leather wallets and tie pins - all grownup things that would be tossed in the drawer and forgotten the minute they are received and there are some crazy things like sky-diving and thrilling experiences, but nothing much in the way of tangible stuff that means something to them and means something to the parents who give it as well. Now there is a business idea for someone enterprising out there - a website selling meaningful gifts or one that sources and scoures meaningful birthday presents - presents that parents want to give and 18year olds would love to receive.

So what did I settle for in the end - a watch, a quality Robert Loomes engraved with his initials on the back- which I can only hope he will like and keep for ever. Do share your similar gift dillemas, I would love to know how you fared...

COURAGEOUS CREATIVITY

My fifteen year daughter wants to be a journalist - among other things of course - including filthy rich (she doesn't know how exactly but will come up with bizarre, witty and outlandish entrepreneurial ideas) and I do admire and feed her wandering, creative mind  by passing on links to interesting and inspiring articles.

 Thankfully on the journalistic front there are many female role models, ladies who have shown tremendous courage in their jobs, covered war zones, seen and reported how-it-is to the world, at times putting politicians and world-leaders to shame by the horror their ill

Yalda Hakim

thought policies have havoced.  Some of these female correspondents are charismatic to boot and not hard to look up to professionally, +Christina Amanpur, +Lara Logan, Alex Crawford,+Kate Aide, +Zeina Badawi, +Yalda Hakim - any one of these ladies is a befitting role model for a 15 year old.

Zaina Badawi

Alex Crawford

Courage and creativity are two traits I do not want my children to ever loose sight of - courage to stand up for what they believe in and not become a passive voice in an even passive crowd, and being creative, which, if you think about it, needs courage because creativity requires breaking free from the mould, ditching the norm and exploring the unknown . I was thinking about this earlier on and both traits are innate in humans, younger children (pre- schoolers) have no problem saying 'no' and will do their own thing to the embarrassment of most parents who want them to have friends and fit in, but as they grow older, they are taught to fit in, go with the crowd and somehow along the way they loose the courage to say 'no' - that's why so many of our young people fall off the wayside, do drugs and all sorts because they lack courage to be their own person and the creativity to think and be different.

But what about being courageously creative in design? Indeed, if  you  look around - or do a google search-  you will find a lot of bold designs and creativity in architecture, interiors of  shops, hotels - mostly commercial enterprises that can afford to spend money on being outlandish and stick out from the rest,  but  on the home front, it is  still a daunting thought to many. It is least easy because invariably it involves spending money and creating things that don't exist in shops and also because our homes are such personal spaces and essentially extension of our personalities and it really does needs a very strong conviction to be original  - And here I am not talking creativity as in having a bold wall colour, I mean all out crazy, in your face interiors -  but that is exactly what these homeowners have done - broken free from how-it-should-look to how-refreshingly-crazy-and-wonderful! Now, do you have what it takes to be courageously creative?

 

 

UNDERSTATED GLAMOUR

Ask people what glamour is and nine times out of ten, glitz and gold will slide off their tongue in the same sentence as glamour - because that's what it means to most these days- all things glitzy, sparkly, unnecessarily and insanely expensive - all to behold with a longing gaze and admire from afar, knowing it's there for a lucky few.

But true origins of word 'glamour' lie in being enveloped in an aura of enchantment and mystique - (note - nothing to do with glitz or gold) - but more to do with entrapment that draws us, allures us into a world of sophistication and charm, that is pleasing to the eye and utterly, beautifully lifting to our souls - and that's what I look for in glamorous people and glamorous interiors - that understated, charming, captivating quality that holds your gaze and makes your heart skip a beat and fills you with  wonder.

I must confess, I do get slightly annoyed by all the snapshots of celebrities in garish, over the top  makeup and revealing clothes being branded as glamorous in magazines, or over decorated, dripping with expensive accessories rooms being advertised as glamorous living -that's not glamour that's a person with more money than sense -  and to be honest any amount of money cannot make you or your home glamorous, far from it. It is a quality that is not that inaccessible after all, although you need to know how to pull it off -  and it's what you don't put out as much as what you do -if you know what I mean, after all mystique is a product of holding back as much as revealing....

Sir Cecil Beaton was one photographer who knew how to capture true glamour - his portraits of celebrities epitomise the charming, alluring quality he brought out in them -  it never was the clothes, the hair or the makeup, it was always the person in the portrait that was the mystery - the one we wanted to know more about.

In design, pulling off a glamorous interior is an art only a handful of designers know how to execute perfectly - my favourites are +Barbara Barry, +Muriel Brandolini, and +Jean-Louis Deniot. All have their own very distinctive styles but they all share a love for finesse, quality, classic and quirky old pieces mixed in with new, and most importantly measured restraint. Their designs undeniably ooze understated  glamour - but at the same time have that  'I-am-more-than-you-behold' quality that makes you want to look deeper trying to figure out the secret of their success. Now that's what I call true glamour - understated, serene and confidant in its power over you!