Changing Stories

There comes times in every women’s life; through charmed providence or cruel necessity; when she feels inclined either to start a new story in her life or end an existing one. This beginning and ending of stories,  however holds very little significance for men, because their entire lives, more or less, are played out in the same story with changing chapters causing ripples in their otherwise calm sea of existence. Most men set their course of life early on for their entire journey and even if they suffer tiny upheavals, it's nothing that cannot be addressed or ironed out in the next couple of chapters unfolding in their life stories.

But why so many stories in a women's life? Because the emotional demands made on her are deeper and she herself changes with every major or minor change in her life. Every time she is in a relationship or gets married, or gives birth or gets divorced or cares for her aging parents, she switches into a new role and has to cultivate new sensibilities to carry on; as a lover, a wife, a mother or a caregiver.  Not always by choice, she is constantly thrust into circumstances where she feels the need to end something or start anew. As an example when her kids leave the family home, or her husband spends longer and longer time away from home or simply stops caring, or her parents become elderly and eventually die, that's the cue for her to end that story.  She has to dust and pick herself up for a new beginning elsewhere. Her equation in life is never constant and it all takes its toll on her. That's why women age so much quicker than men. 

But there also comes a time when she wants to break free from all the stories thrust on her and write her own story that makes her happy. She wants to break the shackles of being for others and just be. She has cared enough, done enough, she is through with her own sense of duty to others and their causes. And the irony is she truly finds her place in other peoples stories when she gets to this pinnacle of freedom. Some women find this freedom quicker than others but alas, some never do. 

Saman Khanzada Mirza