SURRENDER TO SELFISHNESS

The man who does not value himself;

can not value anything or anyone.

Ayn Rand

As good parents we are expected to keep correcting the moral compass of our children till it conforms to societal needs – and that includes telling them to be less selfish and more selfless in their actions and speech. Schools promote and teach that in abundance as well – by advertising and putting on great shows for a great cause - all the bake sales are the gold standard for that. But what in reality are we teaching our children? A forced sense of conformity, how they need to act, behave and think in a certain way to be accepted and valued by others? No wonder so many of our children end up having emotional problems. I have worked in schools and the emotional problems are alarmingly starting earlier and earlier each year – but is that at all surprising? We have lost the art of nurturing the individual. We hardly give children any chance to find anything out for themselves or discover who they are; develop their own set of values; their integral moral compass unique to them based on their experiences of the world around them; that incidentally will ground them and stabilise them emotionally. We hardly allow them to grow up appreciating their worth and pursue their happiness unashamedly and un-guiltly – even if that means not sharing their favourite toy.

Why do we teach that selfishness is such a bad virtue? A selfish person is not one who goes around snatching things and hurting others in a wake of destruction. A selfish person is one who looks after his own needs before others and values his well-being and happiness – and is that such a bad thing? In our efforts of fostering empathy for the whole world, we have sadly let our youngsters down in not being capable of having empathy for their own happiness. They grow up adopting self-destroying thoughts and habits because they have not been taught or allowed to value themselves in the first place.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs lists self-esteem as an important part of human existence and survival. Self-worth actually is the bedrock of all human relationships – be it personal or professional. Without it, nothing of greatness can be achieved. A person who does not value himself, is hardly capable of valuing others; because unless and until you can establish how it feels to value yourself and be happy, you can not in any way or shape replicate or show that feeling for others. Have you ever had an abusive boss or one who belittles your efforts? Well now you know why. Bullies always suffer from low self esteem, while someone who shares and helps others  grow is confident and happy – and wants to see others have the same feelings of accomplishment.

Amour Propre is also a vital part of creativity and design process- and selfishness is the silent virtue of all great designers, although they will happily leave it out from their resumes!  The most creative, awe-inspiring designs are the ones that are not bending over backwards to conform to a standard or an ideal. They are the ones that create the standards that others aspire to – they break away from the shackles of conformity and show the world what’s possible.

 #DESIGN_INSIGHT

Designers who advertise themselves as listening to your needs are afraid to show you the possibilities. Successful designers listen to their client and then selfishly go ahead and do what they want – they are the ones to show their clients and the world what is possible.

#LIFE_INSIGHT

Be Selfish for a very good cause. You. Value yourself, seek your happiness un-apologising and un-ashamedly.